How come no one ever takes me up on that? [He murmurs to himself, spinning the knife around once in his hand before sheathing it again. Seriously, he'd go ham if it was him.]
Anyway, like Ferny says. Mostly. She's close enough.
[No one's gonna explain the suit. And unless Fern's gonna comment about how ugly he is right in front of his salad, it might never be addressed formally.] Oh. Huh. Yeah, I guess that's a good point. [About the suit. Which does have several holes in it already covered in duct tape, along with a large amount of what appears to be claw marks. Really big claw marks.
The dreamer in him just can't get himself to repair them.]
Knives in my -- no! That's only Logan. Oh my god. He seriously snikts those things out for anyone these days. I carry my knives like a normal person! [He jerks a thumb over his shoulder, where his swords are crossed over his back.] And not-knives. Which I brought in case I gotta butcher your mystery meat with 'em. [No, he's not above it.] So, where's it coming out of, anyway?
[ Ferny? Her ears twitch back at that, wondering if she should correct Wade now before he makes a habit of it, but then Adrian asks about mutants (right, that was the word that Wade had used before) and then knives in hands are mentioned, immediately followed by a familiar name. ]
Logan has what...?
[ Fern's confused gaze swivels back and forth between them. She's met Logan all of twice, and the second conversation hadn't been a pleasant one for either of them. When he'd told her something more comes out, that definitely isn't what she'd pictured. Nor does she actually think that's what Logan meant, but it does seem like an important detail that he maybe should have been mentioned.
Whether or not that's explained to her, she does take note of just how many blades Wade seems to have on his person. Three, at least. Maybe more, though it would be hard to hide them beneath the suit that no one is explaining. If there's one thing about this man that she approves of, it's that.
At Wade's question, she turns back toward Adrian's van. The meat itself is waiting in a cooler now, but the sight of it oozing out of the glove compartment is still imprinted on her mind's eye. ]
[ Ferny? Adrian almost wonders if they're close, but he sees the way Fern's ears twitch and decides no, not that close. She hasn't taken the knife offer, however, so it must be a tolerable kind of annoyance. ]
He didn't just— I asked Mr. Logan about it, so he explained. [ An understatement that is doing a lot of heavy lifting here. He turns to Fern to further explain: ] He has knives that come out from in between his knuckles. Like claws of some sort? I don't believe that he shares them with most people.
[ In other words, he'll rely on Fern's discretion, but he knows that she isn't the sort to spread that information around.
Despite his outfit, Wade does in fact carry nearly as many weapons as Fern does, just much more openly. Perhaps it's an intimidation thing, Adrian thinks... though, at the moment, there's very little effort on Wade's part to be intimidating. He's a bit eccentric, certainly. Bold. But very friendly.
He gestures for Wade to come closer and kneels beside the cooler, opening it up so that he can unwrap their purple mystery meat. It is actually very handy that he has some extra knives, since they'll likely have to butcher it before it can be cooked. ] Lady Fern noticed the blood oozing out of the glove compartment this morning. It's as if it just appeared overnight. I suspect something might have happened to the van while we were passing through a diffusion zone and... well, now we have this.
[ Pained, Adrian adds: ] It's never a nice bouquet or something, is it?
[Okay, so Logan snikts them for some people. And apparentlyh e has a preference for polite socialites over dog people. He's keeping that in his back pocket of Logan knowledge, for later.
Feels like Logan should've really allied with the dog people over this.]
They're claws. Or kebob holders, if he's in the right mood.
[He says, definitively. Look, it just feels like they should be specific. He looks between them, then settles on Adrian, his lenses squinting a little at him, as if actually considering him just a touch behind the rich boy persona.] He must like you if you're still alive.
[Or he's got that innocent, sweet little boy thing going on. The particular brand of "saw claws but didn't die" has yet to be completely decided by Wade.
In time.
He follows the two and squats next to Adrian to peer inside. What he was expecting was a Frankensteinian throbbing, bloodied heart, sitting in a box of its own gore, beating by itself. Cool shit.
This kind of just looks like... hmm. Lunch meat.]
I mean, you could go for a nice banquet instead. [He pokes it with a gloved finger. It wobbles, but only a little.] Except this has an embarrassing lack of marbling.
[Seriously, couldn't his car be spitting out wagyu?] Yeah, I'm suspectin' the same. My car's furry for the same reason.
[He does not elaborate.] So not for any reason, but neither of you are sporting emetophobia, right?
[He's gonna pluck a knife from near his boot and poke it again, with the tip, and with only minimum wiggle, he starts cutting a piece off.] Just checking.
He doesn't share them with most people, but he shared them with you.
[ Claws, inserted under the skin? Retractable, in some way? Fern would have never known, which means that it must not be noticeable unless he takes them out. That's what makes him a mutant, then? She can't say she fully understands, but it does mean he's a bit more like her than she could have guessed.
While there's an unspoken question for Adrian (why?), Fern isn't going to push the issue right now. They have some meat to take a look at, after all. At Adrian's comment, Fern glances over and gives him a one-armed shrug. ]
I heard some rumors about a flower shop with plants that came to life and attacked, so be careful what you wish for.
[ Maybe they're actually better off with the van-generated meat. She crouches next to Wade to look at it again, but the meat hasn't warped in any way since they removed it from the car. It really doesn't look unappetizing to her, if they were to cook it up.
Except then Wade slices off a piece and asks them about... some phobia? Fern doesn't recognize the word, and she tilts her head before reaching out to lightly grab at his arm to hopefully make him pause for a moment. ]
You're not going to just eat it raw, are you? [ Or do mutants like raw meat? Somehow, Fern doubts this and assumes this is just Wade being Wade. ]
He said something about giving me a century to get on his good side. [ Adrian says, very seriously, though there's a glimmer of good humor in his gaze when he speaks to Wade. ] I believe that he needs the time to admit to himself that we are friends. Please do be sensitive if you bring it up to him.
[ He wouldn't usually be so forward, but he gets the impression that Wade is already good friends with Logan. Perhaps he has some sort of affinity with that type of person, considering that he's made friends with Fern so quickly as well.
As for Fern's question... Adrian glances at her and sighs. ] Really, both of you... He didn't hurt me with them, if that's what you're implying. I healed a friend of his, and he indulged my questions in return. That's all it was.
[ It's not the whole truth, but it's fairly close to it, and there are some things that he doesn't feel right about divulging.
Thankfully, they move on to the topic of meat after that. Adrian watches Wade slice off a chunk of purple something. ]
As Fern suggested, I would most definitely recommend cooking it first... Even if you can heal through it, I can't imagine that it's pleasant.
Yeah, that's called Little Shop of Horrors. Not very inventive if you ask me. [He says in response to Fern. Man, wait. He missed Little Shop of Horrors? Well, seems like she'd mention if the cannibalizing plants were singing. Then he'd be real upset.
He throws a look over his shoulder at Adrian. Why's he got the feeling this weirdo's digging into him, too?] I've never been insensitive in my life.
[He meant "sensitive". Damn, too late to fix it now.]
If you he wanted to hurt you with 'em, he would've. [Wade cuts off another piece and wobbles both in his palm. They leave a somewhat unappetizing droplet of meat juice behind. It's dark like beef, but with this subtle sheen of color he can't rsay goes with beef. Almost like when pork goes prismatic with age.]
Probably not. [He pops the first cube into his mouth, chewing.] Except you've clearly never been to Ben & Jerry's while being lactose intolerant. [Speaking of unpleasant --] Great, I was just checking if I needed to put up a content warning.
[Note the blank subject line.]
Like I thought, it's kinda beefy. But also kinda like. Moosey. [Not to sound like a walking stereotype --] Well, how you wanna cook it? Microwave? Boiling? Wrapped up in puff pastry? Open fire like we're all tight camping buddies?
[Wade suddenly chokes and falls to the ground, motionless.]
[ Little Shop of Horrors? Fern shoots Wade a blank stare at that, one he's seen at least a few times by now, but she brushes it off.
While she gets the sense that Adrian isn't telling her the whole story about Logan, she can assume they got caught up in some sort of fight that led to a friend needing to be healed, the claws came out as a result, and Adrian got to ask some questions when all was said and done. Fair enough. There's plenty that comes to the fore in the midst of a battle. ]
No, that's not what I was implying. [ She says the words mainly under her breath, letting the subject move on to the real question at hand: the mystery meat.
Yet despite both Fern and Adrian issuing warnings, Wade completely ignores them and just pops the piece of meat into his mouth. Fern's grip on his wrist tightens for a moment, but the damage is done so she lets go with a mild scoff. ] Over a fire was the—
[ Idea, she might have said, but then Wade collapses. ]
Not again...! [ She immediately falls to a crouch next to him, but her gaze skates up to Adrian. He's the medic here, after all, so this is mainly on him, though she's close at hand if he needs her to grab anything. ]
[ Adrian and Fern sport nearly identical expressions for once. He also has no idea what a Little Shop of Horrors is.
He nods at Wade's assertion, and shoots Fern a mildly apologetic look before he lets the subject of Logan drop as well. After seeing how Cassian had reacted to the man — very understandably, considering the context — he still feels as if he needs to make it clear that Logan has never so much as verbally threatened him. His sometimes intimidating demeanor doesn't mean that he's some sort of brute.
He should have guessed, really, that these are the last people who need to be told that.
He turns back to the subject at hand just in time to watch Wade toss a cube of meat directly into his mouth. Adrian puts a hand over his own mouth, looking a bit pained. He doesn't even like cooked meat particularly, let alone raw.
Fern starts to answer him and then— ] Mr. Wade..!
[ Adrian is on his knees beside Wade in a second, halo lit and hovering behind his head, primed to heal. He drops a gloved hand to Wade's chest. (Medicine check: 25) Adrian frowns, sits back on his heels, and shakes his head at Fern. ] He's perfectly fine. What do you mean, again? Has this happened before?
[Wade peeks out of one eye to see the soft rich boy kneeling beside him, crying out his name like in an old Victorian period drama. This is the life. Sometimes a guy just wants a little attention from soft rich boys.
Wait, not like that --]
Perfectly fine?! I'm clearly dead. And I'm dying every second! [He makes a choking sound with a whole body jitter, like a corpse having one final burst of electrical signals.
He could go the full mile and soil himself, but he's in polite company and there's no way we're going to put a content warning up for that.
Instead he opens both eyes. Wade hops up onto his elbows, peering up into a glaring light that does, indeed, appear to be a halo. Okay, so that's.] Technically it happens all the time. [He pats his stomach.] I do think that is some alien fucking beef though, it is ravaging my innards right now. However, I gotta say, the clean bowels I'm coming out the other end with might make it worth it.
Fern scoffs, because truly she should have known better. Fool me once, and all that. It's never enjoyable to feel as if her emotions have been toyed with, and this time it feels a bit more purposeful, so she isn't going to give Wade much grace this time. ]
And also healing every second.
[ Hence there's no real reason to feel for him, especially when he acts so recklessly. And when he shares far too many details about his digestive system. Fern doesn't flinch in disgust or anything like it, she isn't squeamish, but she does glare at Wade's masked face. ]
Well, that at least tells us that it can't be consumed raw, but we should have you try it cooked.
[ She seems to have little consideration for the state of his innards. If he's going to treat his inability to die as a jest, she'll treat it as an opportunity. ]
We're all dying every second, Mr. Wade. [ Adrian says, smiling down at him. He pats Wade's chest like a doting grandmother, and allows his halo to flicker back out again. ] You're certain that bloodborne diseases aren't a concern for your healing abilities? I could get you something for your stomach..?
[ He's taking this only slightly more seriously than Fern, in that he still doesn't like the idea of Wade suffering some undue distress, even if it's just a bout of terrible gas. Despite his delicate rich boy nature, Adrian has dealt with worse with a straight face.
Mildly, he adds: ] Fern — he can still feel pain.
[ He hardly wants to force the man to go through with the second test if he's already too ill. ]
I. [He gives Adrian a glare. Why are you trying to beat him at the misery Olympics? Aren't you supposed to be the polite one?] I mean, yeah, but I mean it literally. Jeez, you fantasy types take everything so literally.
[He brushes himself off and rolls back to his feet. Quite literally. Just a forward roll and he's suddenly back on his feet.]
I'm in pain every second of my life! A bout of IBS isn't gonna change that. But I appreciate your very valid concerns, Fernius. [That was definitely not her with the concerns.] C'mon, can one of you make a magical fire? I'm all down to try it cooked! And if I shit myself? This never happened. That you know of.
[ Fern watches as Wade springs back up to his feet as if nothing happened. It's truly remarkable, though his assertion that he's always in pain gives her pause. She can never know with Wade if she should take him at face value or not (especially when his face is fully covered), but she does wonder if that particular claim is a true one.
He seems more than ready to try another serving of the meat, so Fern gestures to him with one splayed hand while glancing over to Adrian following his chiding remark. ]
See? He's fine.
[ And with that, she gestures Wade over to where a campfire is already started. They'd made sure to be prepared; he just doesn't seem capable of focusing for longer than five or ten seconds at a time. ]
Over here. [ She pulls another piece of meat out of the cooler, then sets it on a cookpan, where it starts to sizzle. And then, as it cooks, she decides she may as well ask. ] Is that how it works? [ She watches the meat cooking as she speaks, but her tone is fairly even. ] A lifetime of pain, but you can heal from anything?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Anyway, like Ferny says. Mostly. She's close enough.
[No one's gonna explain the suit. And unless Fern's gonna comment about how ugly he is right in front of his salad, it might never be addressed formally.] Oh. Huh. Yeah, I guess that's a good point. [About the suit. Which does have several holes in it already covered in duct tape, along with a large amount of what appears to be claw marks. Really big claw marks.
The dreamer in him just can't get himself to repair them.]
Knives in my -- no! That's only Logan. Oh my god. He seriously snikts those things out for anyone these days. I carry my knives like a normal person! [He jerks a thumb over his shoulder, where his swords are crossed over his back.] And not-knives. Which I brought in case I gotta butcher your mystery meat with 'em. [No, he's not above it.] So, where's it coming out of, anyway?
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Logan has what...?
[ Fern's confused gaze swivels back and forth between them. She's met Logan all of twice, and the second conversation hadn't been a pleasant one for either of them. When he'd told her something more comes out, that definitely isn't what she'd pictured. Nor does she actually think that's what Logan meant, but it does seem like an important detail that he maybe should have been mentioned.
Whether or not that's explained to her, she does take note of just how many blades Wade seems to have on his person. Three, at least. Maybe more, though it would be hard to hide them beneath the suit that no one is explaining. If there's one thing about this man that she approves of, it's that.
At Wade's question, she turns back toward Adrian's van. The meat itself is waiting in a cooler now, but the sight of it oozing out of the glove compartment is still imprinted on her mind's eye. ]
Well...
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He didn't just— I asked Mr. Logan about it, so he explained. [ An understatement that is doing a lot of heavy lifting here. He turns to Fern to further explain: ] He has knives that come out from in between his knuckles. Like claws of some sort? I don't believe that he shares them with most people.
[ In other words, he'll rely on Fern's discretion, but he knows that she isn't the sort to spread that information around.
Despite his outfit, Wade does in fact carry nearly as many weapons as Fern does, just much more openly. Perhaps it's an intimidation thing, Adrian thinks... though, at the moment, there's very little effort on Wade's part to be intimidating. He's a bit eccentric, certainly. Bold. But very friendly.
He gestures for Wade to come closer and kneels beside the cooler, opening it up so that he can unwrap their purple mystery meat. It is actually very handy that he has some extra knives, since they'll likely have to butcher it before it can be cooked. ] Lady Fern noticed the blood oozing out of the glove compartment this morning. It's as if it just appeared overnight. I suspect something might have happened to the van while we were passing through a diffusion zone and... well, now we have this.
[ Pained, Adrian adds: ] It's never a nice bouquet or something, is it?
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Feels like Logan should've really allied with the dog people over this.]
They're claws. Or kebob holders, if he's in the right mood.
[He says, definitively. Look, it just feels like they should be specific. He looks between them, then settles on Adrian, his lenses squinting a little at him, as if actually considering him just a touch behind the rich boy persona.] He must like you if you're still alive.
[Or he's got that innocent, sweet little boy thing going on. The particular brand of "saw claws but didn't die" has yet to be completely decided by Wade.
In time.
He follows the two and squats next to Adrian to peer inside. What he was expecting was a Frankensteinian throbbing, bloodied heart, sitting in a box of its own gore, beating by itself. Cool shit.
This kind of just looks like... hmm. Lunch meat.]
I mean, you could go for a nice banquet instead. [He pokes it with a gloved finger. It wobbles, but only a little.] Except this has an embarrassing lack of marbling.
[Seriously, couldn't his car be spitting out wagyu?] Yeah, I'm suspectin' the same. My car's furry for the same reason.
[He does not elaborate.] So not for any reason, but neither of you are sporting emetophobia, right?
[He's gonna pluck a knife from near his boot and poke it again, with the tip, and with only minimum wiggle, he starts cutting a piece off.] Just checking.
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[ Claws, inserted under the skin? Retractable, in some way? Fern would have never known, which means that it must not be noticeable unless he takes them out. That's what makes him a mutant, then? She can't say she fully understands, but it does mean he's a bit more like her than she could have guessed.
While there's an unspoken question for Adrian (why?), Fern isn't going to push the issue right now. They have some meat to take a look at, after all. At Adrian's comment, Fern glances over and gives him a one-armed shrug. ]
I heard some rumors about a flower shop with plants that came to life and attacked, so be careful what you wish for.
[ Maybe they're actually better off with the van-generated meat. She crouches next to Wade to look at it again, but the meat hasn't warped in any way since they removed it from the car. It really doesn't look unappetizing to her, if they were to cook it up.
Except then Wade slices off a piece and asks them about... some phobia? Fern doesn't recognize the word, and she tilts her head before reaching out to lightly grab at his arm to hopefully make him pause for a moment. ]
You're not going to just eat it raw, are you? [ Or do mutants like raw meat? Somehow, Fern doubts this and assumes this is just Wade being Wade. ]
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[ He wouldn't usually be so forward, but he gets the impression that Wade is already good friends with Logan. Perhaps he has some sort of affinity with that type of person, considering that he's made friends with Fern so quickly as well.
As for Fern's question... Adrian glances at her and sighs. ] Really, both of you... He didn't hurt me with them, if that's what you're implying. I healed a friend of his, and he indulged my questions in return. That's all it was.
[ It's not the whole truth, but it's fairly close to it, and there are some things that he doesn't feel right about divulging.
Thankfully, they move on to the topic of meat after that. Adrian watches Wade slice off a chunk of purple something. ]
As Fern suggested, I would most definitely recommend cooking it first... Even if you can heal through it, I can't imagine that it's pleasant.
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He throws a look over his shoulder at Adrian. Why's he got the feeling this weirdo's digging into him, too?] I've never been insensitive in my life.
[He meant "sensitive". Damn, too late to fix it now.]
If you he wanted to hurt you with 'em, he would've. [Wade cuts off another piece and wobbles both in his palm. They leave a somewhat unappetizing droplet of meat juice behind. It's dark like beef, but with this subtle sheen of color he can't rsay goes with beef. Almost like when pork goes prismatic with age.]
Probably not. [He pops the first cube into his mouth, chewing.] Except you've clearly never been to Ben & Jerry's while being lactose intolerant. [Speaking of unpleasant --] Great, I was just checking if I needed to put up a content warning.
[Note the blank subject line.]
Like I thought, it's kinda beefy. But also kinda like. Moosey. [Not to sound like a walking stereotype --] Well, how you wanna cook it? Microwave? Boiling? Wrapped up in puff pastry? Open fire like we're all tight camping buddies?
[Wade suddenly chokes and falls to the ground, motionless.]
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While she gets the sense that Adrian isn't telling her the whole story about Logan, she can assume they got caught up in some sort of fight that led to a friend needing to be healed, the claws came out as a result, and Adrian got to ask some questions when all was said and done. Fair enough. There's plenty that comes to the fore in the midst of a battle. ]
No, that's not what I was implying. [ She says the words mainly under her breath, letting the subject move on to the real question at hand: the mystery meat.
Yet despite both Fern and Adrian issuing warnings, Wade completely ignores them and just pops the piece of meat into his mouth. Fern's grip on his wrist tightens for a moment, but the damage is done so she lets go with a mild scoff. ] Over a fire was the—
[ Idea, she might have said, but then Wade collapses. ]
Not again...! [ She immediately falls to a crouch next to him, but her gaze skates up to Adrian. He's the medic here, after all, so this is mainly on him, though she's close at hand if he needs her to grab anything. ]
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He nods at Wade's assertion, and shoots Fern a mildly apologetic look before he lets the subject of Logan drop as well. After seeing how Cassian had reacted to the man — very understandably, considering the context — he still feels as if he needs to make it clear that Logan has never so much as verbally threatened him. His sometimes intimidating demeanor doesn't mean that he's some sort of brute.
He should have guessed, really, that these are the last people who need to be told that.
He turns back to the subject at hand just in time to watch Wade toss a cube of meat directly into his mouth. Adrian puts a hand over his own mouth, looking a bit pained. He doesn't even like cooked meat particularly, let alone raw.
Fern starts to answer him and then— ] Mr. Wade..!
[ Adrian is on his knees beside Wade in a second, halo lit and hovering behind his head, primed to heal. He drops a gloved hand to Wade's chest. (Medicine check: 25) Adrian frowns, sits back on his heels, and shakes his head at Fern. ] He's perfectly fine. What do you mean, again? Has this happened before?
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Wait, not like that --]
Perfectly fine?! I'm clearly dead. And I'm dying every second! [He makes a choking sound with a whole body jitter, like a corpse having one final burst of electrical signals.
He could go the full mile and soil himself, but he's in polite company and there's no way we're going to put a content warning up for that.
Instead he opens both eyes. Wade hops up onto his elbows, peering up into a glaring light that does, indeed, appear to be a halo. Okay, so that's.] Technically it happens all the time. [He pats his stomach.] I do think that is some alien fucking beef though, it is ravaging my innards right now. However, I gotta say, the clean bowels I'm coming out the other end with might make it worth it.
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Fern scoffs, because truly she should have known better. Fool me once, and all that. It's never enjoyable to feel as if her emotions have been toyed with, and this time it feels a bit more purposeful, so she isn't going to give Wade much grace this time. ]
And also healing every second.
[ Hence there's no real reason to feel for him, especially when he acts so recklessly. And when he shares far too many details about his digestive system. Fern doesn't flinch in disgust or anything like it, she isn't squeamish, but she does glare at Wade's masked face. ]
Well, that at least tells us that it can't be consumed raw, but we should have you try it cooked.
[ She seems to have little consideration for the state of his innards. If he's going to treat his inability to die as a jest, she'll treat it as an opportunity. ]
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[ He's taking this only slightly more seriously than Fern, in that he still doesn't like the idea of Wade suffering some undue distress, even if it's just a bout of terrible gas. Despite his delicate rich boy nature, Adrian has dealt with worse with a straight face.
Mildly, he adds: ] Fern — he can still feel pain.
[ He hardly wants to force the man to go through with the second test if he's already too ill. ]
hides the date
[He brushes himself off and rolls back to his feet. Quite literally. Just a forward roll and he's suddenly back on his feet.]
I'm in pain every second of my life! A bout of IBS isn't gonna change that. But I appreciate your very valid concerns, Fernius. [That was definitely not her with the concerns.] C'mon, can one of you make a magical fire? I'm all down to try it cooked! And if I shit myself? This never happened. That you know of.
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He seems more than ready to try another serving of the meat, so Fern gestures to him with one splayed hand while glancing over to Adrian following his chiding remark. ]
See? He's fine.
[ And with that, she gestures Wade over to where a campfire is already started. They'd made sure to be prepared; he just doesn't seem capable of focusing for longer than five or ten seconds at a time. ]
Over here. [ She pulls another piece of meat out of the cooler, then sets it on a cookpan, where it starts to sizzle. And then, as it cooks, she decides she may as well ask. ] Is that how it works? [ She watches the meat cooking as she speaks, but her tone is fairly even. ] A lifetime of pain, but you can heal from anything?