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Voice — Text — Action

[In a perfect imitation (?) of Charles Xavier's voice, a simple message plays when Wade doesn't answer immediately:

"I try to pick peace over violence whenever possible, but sometimes that simply isn't the option."

[The voice abruptly changes to Wade's:]

So be sure to leave a message I can respond to with peace or violence! Either way, we'll have fun. Promise. ♥

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[thetruefocus]

I'll even have him record a message for you, if you like.

[ It would be hilarious.]

Be safe, Wade. I worry even about you indestructible people.

[primepool]

You better! That's my tip.

That's 'cause you're stupid as hell, Chuck. But it's why you're so warm and cuddly, too.

[thetruefocus]

I think a cuddle is out of the question, my boyfriend would find a way to truly kill you.

[primepool]

Whoa, whoa, I'm a one-mutant man. Okay, I'm not. I'm really not. But this could be totally platonic cuddling. Head-cuddles.

Unless...?

You know, the option's there. If you're ever curious about what cuddling a giant, pulsating tumour feels like.

[He can't hide it, even if he tries, which he doesn't. This is just full brainblasting at this point. Like he's gonna turn down a guy with hair.] Though it'd be kinda funny if he tried. I'll keep that one in my back pocket when we need a rowdy personal plot down the line, Chuck.

[thetruefocus]

[ Charles laughs.]

I'm deeply flattered, truly, but very monogamous. And I'm a little too English for platonic cuddling. I will give you a nice pat on the back.

[primepool]

Holy wait, wait a minute. You guys are outta the mutant closet now? Hey, good for you, Chuck. Beating that stigma. Braver than the Marines.

Well, not the monogamous part, that's super boring. But if every porkchop were perfect, we wouldn't have hotdogs.

You're too English for hotdogs too, huh? Damn.

[thetruefocus]

Yes, we are out now, and thank you, Wade. I am pleased about it myself.

No, I am not too English for hotdogs, just idle cuddling. Figure out where you would like me to buy you dinner when this is over.

[primepool]

You should be. Fans have only been waiting since 1963!

Believe me, babe, I already got a place in mind. And I'll even let you bring your BFF for post-burger cuddles. Even if I'll be insanely jealous.

[thetruefocus]

I've been waiting since the moment I met him, but you know, we had reasons at the time it was impossible.

This is dinner for us! I'm not inviting anyone else. Unless you'd like Logan to come be grumpy and refuse to talk.

[primepool]

Ooooh. You really know what to say to a girl to make her feel special, Professor. I'll keep that in mind.