"Don't get into trouble"? What, that an order? C'mon, buds don't give buds orders. Anyway, no can do! I gotta get in tons of trouble. This is like 28 Days Later! Minus the zombies. And Cillian Murphy. Anyway, I've got a grenade that's just been itchin' to be blown.
Who says I'm not? I'm only permanently disfiguring the bad guys! Also, yes, during the fall of civilization it's too much to ask for free. I don't work pro bono. Only per boner.
[Ex-mercenary brain still runs absolutely like mercenary brain, and yeah, Charles isn't a trust fund baby anymore, but money is money. It's tempting. Ooh, it's real tempting, because he can trust Chuck will actually pay him. He'd feel way too guilty not to.
But. Speaking of guilt. Wade feels distinctly like taking money from Charles to protect people is the moral equivalent of kicking a puppy to save it from eating an innocent piece of grass.
It feels reaaaal icky. Why? He doesn't want to examine it too much. It's one thing to pay him for shovelling the driveway. But this --]
You drive a hard bargain, Chuck. [He cannot believe he's fucking doing this. It's free money! It's free real estate!] Listen. Put in a good word for me with Magneto (emphasize how cool I am) and buy me shawarma after this and I'll call it even.
Whoa, whoa, I'm a one-mutant man. Okay, I'm not. I'm really not. But this could be totally platonic cuddling. Head-cuddles.
Unless...?
You know, the option's there. If you're ever curious about what cuddling a giant, pulsating tumour feels like.
[He can't hide it, even if he tries, which he doesn't. This is just full brainblasting at this point. Like he's gonna turn down a guy with hair.] Though it'd be kinda funny if he tried. I'll keep that one in my back pocket when we need a rowdy personal plot down the line, Chuck.
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If I need help, I'll let you know. Look out for the others, if you can. Try not to get into too much trouble.
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"Don't get into trouble"? What, that an order? C'mon, buds don't give buds orders. Anyway, no can do! I gotta get in tons of trouble. This is like 28 Days Later! Minus the zombies. And Cillian Murphy. Anyway, I've got a grenade that's just been itchin' to be blown.
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Is it too much to ask for you to use your impressive skills to be a protector of the innocent?
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Who says I'm not? I'm only permanently disfiguring the bad guys! Also, yes, during the fall of civilization it's too much to ask for free. I don't work pro bono. Only per boner.
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Wait, what? Seriously?
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But. Speaking of guilt. Wade feels distinctly like taking money from Charles to protect people is the moral equivalent of kicking a puppy to save it from eating an innocent piece of grass.
It feels reaaaal icky. Why? He doesn't want to examine it too much. It's one thing to pay him for shovelling the driveway. But this --]
You drive a hard bargain, Chuck. [He cannot believe he's fucking doing this. It's free money! It's free real estate!] Listen. Put in a good word for me with Magneto (emphasize how cool I am) and buy me shawarma after this and I'll call it even.
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[ Charles had a feeling that Wade's better angels would call out to him if given the chance, so he'll just be quietly smug about it, sorry.]
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Yeah, you are. Don't worry, you'll be paying my weight in cheeseburger sliders soon enough.
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[ It would be hilarious.]
Be safe, Wade. I worry even about you indestructible people.
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That's 'cause you're stupid as hell, Chuck. But it's why you're so warm and cuddly, too.
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Unless...?
You know, the option's there. If you're ever curious about what cuddling a giant, pulsating tumour feels like.
[He can't hide it, even if he tries, which he doesn't. This is just full brainblasting at this point. Like he's gonna turn down a guy with hair.] Though it'd be kinda funny if he tried. I'll keep that one in my back pocket when we need a rowdy personal plot down the line, Chuck.
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I'm deeply flattered, truly, but very monogamous. And I'm a little too English for platonic cuddling. I will give you a nice pat on the back.
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Well, not the monogamous part, that's super boring. But if every porkchop were perfect, we wouldn't have hotdogs.
You're too English for hotdogs too, huh? Damn.
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No, I am not too English for hotdogs, just idle cuddling. Figure out where you would like me to buy you dinner when this is over.
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Believe me, babe, I already got a place in mind. And I'll even let you bring your BFF for post-burger cuddles. Even if I'll be insanely jealous.
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This is dinner for us! I'm not inviting anyone else. Unless you'd like Logan to come be grumpy and refuse to talk.
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